Within Arms Reach
by kelseyberg333
Summary: Halfway between his shoulder and his elbow. That is where the length of his arm ended. Over my shoulder I felt Raph breath out a small curse that I couldn't be bothered to reprimand. This is going to changed everything. (I own nothing)
1. More Than BLood

Flashback:

Mikey cried out as the Shredder clamped a bear trap down on his right wrist effectively breaking both skin and bone. Mikey cried out in pain; the scream muffled by his dry throat.

"Tell me where family is hiding!" Shredder demanded.

In response Mikey gathered the copper taste within his throat and spat blood into the Shredder's face, "You'll have to kill me."

A manic laugh broke through Shredder's mouth, "Oh Michelangelo, but I can cause you so much more pain when you're alive". He plunged his blade through Mikey's bicep. This time Mikey bit his lip in protest of his own screams.

"You think you're being brave?! You are foolish!" Shredder yelled as he continued stabbing through Mikey's arm. "You will break!"

Mikey lifted his teeth off of his lip, "Not before you" he said with a smirk.

Angered by him comment, Shredder lifted his armor clad first above his head and brought it down to Mikey's skull with a sickening thump.

"Get away from my son!" A familiar voice commanded.

The sound of a battle filled the air around him, "Guys?" he whispered before losing consciousness.

Leo's POV:

Raph and I waited anxiously in the common area. Master Splinter and Donnie had been in the lab with Mikey for over two hours and so far all we have heard was agonizing screams coming from within. Agonizing screams emanating from our littlest brother. Once the screaming had stopped echoing off the walls of the liar, I feared the worse.

Raph looked to me with a panic stricken expression glued to his face. We jumped up in unison, ready to run to the lab or possibly to say our goodbyes to Mikey. Before our legs could even begin to move, the doors to the lab slowly opened. Out stepped Donnie looking solemn as he silently closed the door and took a seat in front of us.

We sat like that for a few minutes before Don broke the silence, "He's going to need a transfusion within the next few hours, He should wake up by then."

I breathed a sigh of relief, "He's alive."

"Barely." Don replied. "He lost a lot of blood. Master Splinter is cleaning it up now, but it looks like a murder scene in there." Donnie paused looking as if he wanted to say something but didn't know how.

"What is it Don? What's the matter?" Raph asked, he must of caught on to Donnie's mood too.

Somehow Don looked twenty years older as he rubbed his face, "Mikey lost more than just blood. It's going to be different now, especially for him…"

"Don what are you saying?" I asked.

"It was just so mangled, the nerves were so damaged I couldn't do anything else. I tried, I really tried…" After the words fell from his lips I leap off the couch and charged into the lab. If Don was saying what I think he was saying, this would be proof.

Sure enough as soon as those doors swung open I was greeted with a sight I never thought I'd see. On the cot lay my freckled little brother, as still as a corpse as pale as one too. Donnie was not joking about the blood, it was everywhere. The floor, cot and tables were coated in it. Yet most prominent was the blood that was visible through the gauzes that covered Mikey's right arm. Or what was left of it.

Halfway between his shoulder and his elbow. That is where the length of his arm ended. Over my shoulder I felt Raph breath out a small curse that I couldn't be bothered to reprimand. This is going to changed everything.


	2. What to do

Raph's POV:

It has nearly been a day since Donnie was forced to amputate Mikey's right arm. I gave blood for the transfusion Donnie spoke of earlier, now I'm sitting in a chair with a pack of oreos on my lap waiting for Mikey's eyes to open.

However as I replay the day's events in my mind I can't help but think to myself that maybe Mikey is better off asleep for now. No pain, no fear, just undisturbed sleep. I had little to say for once as Leo, Don, and Splinter spoke about how to handle the situation once he woke up, but all this talk just brought about more questions. How will Mikey react? Will he scream and cry or will he smile and laugh it off? I hope for the latter, yet the odds are against that. If I was in Mikey's position I would scream, I would be furious.

Or maybe that is just how I am feeling now. While Mikey lay unconscious before me all I my mind can travel to is what I am going to do to Shredder next time we meet. I'm going to flat out kill him, no honor, no stealth, just me and my sais. I'm going to chop his limbs off one by one until I finally reach his head. I'm going to stab my sais' through his throat…

My thoughts of execution were cut short as a familiar hand lay place on my shoulder, "You ok Raph?" Leo looked down at me, eyes glistening with concern.

I shrugged his hand off my shoulder, "Did you decide how to handle this once he wakes up?" I ask even though I know exactly how I'm going to treat it.

Leo hesitated before responding, "We are going to help him learn how to do things differently".

I barked out a laugh, "Isn't that a given?" I ask ask, my eyes focused at the rising and falling of Mikey's chest. It may just be hopeful thinking, but it sounds like his breathing is becoming less even.

Leo grew agitated at my comment, "Well I didn't hear you participating in our conversation, what's your idea?" That sounded like a challenge.

Too tired for challenges today, I continued listening to Mikey's breathing. "Wait to see his reaction, then we'll have a better idea of how to react." I said growing more certain about the rhythm of my little brother's breathes.

Leo went quiet behind me, maybe he heard it to. The faint sound of uneven breathing; the sound of somebody who is awake. "Donnie! Master Splinter! Get over here" I called.

And sure enough, before they could reach the side of the bed, Mikey's eyelids lifted open.


	3. Look to the left

Mikey POV:

I suppressed a groan as an intense light filtered into my eyes. In the time that it took my sight to adjust to the lights the numbness of unconsciousness wore off leaving an odd tingling feeling in my right arm. I groaned a bit louder in attempts to form words.

"Take it easy Mikey, you're hurt." Donnie's nerdy voice filled my ears. Hurt?

Reaching into the depths of my mind I recalled what happened. I can still remember the agonizing torture, but the pain had almost vanished completely. Except for my arm, which felt like the buzzing sound bees make.

Donnie, my arm." I manage to mumble. Then all of a sudden I know why my arm feels this way. As soon as Donnie's eyes fill with tears, I know. The worst of the pain didn't come from Shredder's torture. It came from Donnie, from Splinter, and from the saw sitting to my left on a little rolling nightstand. And as much as I wanted to deny the feeling of being incomplete, it would not change reality.

I could have looked left forever. Taking in the lab, every little detail that I have always overlooked, like the way the ground slightly shiny. I could avoid the truth as long as I keep looking left. But the pain glistening my my family's eyes was worse than anything that could be waiting in the other direction.

Donnie broke down, "I tried Mikey I really tried! But it was so...it didn even look natural anymore! I didn't look like an arm! I swear Mikey I tried!" As Don sobbed into his hands, I reached towards him with my left arm and took hold of his hand.

He lifted his head out of his hands and stared into my eyes, "I know," I said with a small grin, "It's ok."

Only it wasn't. WIth his hand still in mine, my head lolled to the right. I squeezed my eyes shut at the sight, but still that would not keep out reality. So i stared. And stared. And stared, debating how to react. The gauze that covered what was left of my arm was thick with a small amount of blood starting to ooze through. I couldn't help but think that my arm is probably shorter than what I can see now, due to the heavy bandages adding an inch or two.

I looked up without moving my head, trying to force back the tears that were ready to fall. How am I supposed to do anything like this? Sure it isn't my dominant arm, but still. My mind reeled with with all the things I use two hands to do: Cooking, gaming, balancing, flipping, fighting, the list goes on and on.

WIth a large sigh I look left again, back to my family, "How long have I been out?"

"Almost two days. Mikey, we are so sorry. We should have gotten to you sooner. Maybe the…"Leo lost his words.

"Maybe then what?" My voice shook. "I'd still have my arm? I'm not mad, I'm happy it was me and not one of you. I'm happy I'm alive, even if a piece of me is gone." My words were not completely true; happy is not how I'd describe my situation. The burning sensation coming from what is left of my arm, kept reminding me of it. "Hurts, you got anything I can take?"

Donnie nodded, "May knock you out though." He warned.

I nodded, signaling that it was ok. He got to work switching out an IV bag and adding a vial of brown liquid into it. Perfect, I don't want to feel anymore.

"There, it should kick in within a couple of minutes. Don't fight it if you get drowsy, you need rest." Don spoke softly.

My vision was getting blurry while Master Splinter ushered Raph and Leo out of the lab. Donnie stood up to join them, but I halted him by grabbing his wrist once more.

"I don't blame you, so don't blame yourself." My hand slipped away from him and back onto the bed. "Thank you."

A few footsteps later I heard him whisper, "Rest easy Mikey." Before shutting the doors to reality.

Don POV:

I left the lab with Mikey's words lingering inside my brain. How could he not blame me? I cut off his arm for god's sake! I go to join our family at the dining room table, a pizza sits in the middle but nobody seems interested in that.

I take seat, "Mikey would disapprove of us letting a pizza go to waste." I state as I slip a slice into my hand. "He's going to be fine." If his only concern was reassuring me as soon as he found out, he can pull through this. "He's stronger than we give him credit for." I remind them before biting into the slice of pizza.

Raph spoke up first, "He's fragile right now. Yo guys saw it, he was fightin' back tears the whole time." He began eating as well.

"We are going to have to take this in stride. Day by day. Raph was right, we will need to base our reactions off of Mikey's as to not insult him by accident." Leo sighed and grabbed a slice. "He can do most of what he could do before, he just needs to find alternate ways of going about it."

"And we will assist him." Master Splinter spoke up for the first time tonight. "Michelangelo has always had the greatest will power of us all. We must help him conquer these upcoming obstacle for this is just the beginning of many."

"What if he doesn't have to even face those obstacles?" I asked with a sudden start. "What if I make him a custom prosthetic!? He could live life as he had before, it may take awhile, but I think I can manage something."

The three of them looked at me with an odd sort of understanding. We all want to help, but this may be the key to going back to how things were. If I could pull this off Mikey may not have to adapt to anything.

For now my project will have to wait because Mikey was resting in my lab and I will not be the one to disturb him.


	4. Fustrations

Mikey POV:

The next time I woke up I was in my own room. My mouth felt as if I had sucked on cotton balls for the past week. My throat was desert, barren of any moisture. The stiff feeling in my left arm was gone indicating that they had taken out the IV. My stump of a right arm was still heavily wrapped, but no blood was visible so someone must have changed the bandages. Whatever Donnie had given me must have been pretty good stuff if the could do all of this without waking me.

I knew I was in for a rough time immediately. I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. My orange bandana lay untied on my nightstand.

"Great my first task." I whispered to myself as I got to work.

First I attempted to just use my one hand to tie a knot, but after about the fifth try and still being unable to get it to knot without undoing itself I thought to try a different method. I placed the cloth around my bedpost, tied it with one hand, and pulled it shut with the help of my teeth. Only problem was it was too small, so i repeated the act. Too big, too small, too small, too big, a little loose, and perfect!

"That wasn't so bad." I muttered as I wiped my sweaty hand on my pillow. "It only took me...forty-two minutes!" I shout with a look at the clock.

'At least I did it' I thought to myself as I stood up. Weird how one side of me feels heavier now. But yet again I am reminded of my missing limb. The mirror on the back of my door justifies my feelings of something missing. I try to reach for my right hand with my left ,though I can feel my right arm hanging there limply my hand comes into contact with nothing. Why does it feel as if it is still there? It should be there.

My shoulders tremble as the tears begin to fall. I move my left hand up what should be my right arm and let it rest on the leftover stump. This feeling, this phantom limb is worse than any torture Shredder could have inflicted upon me. This trick my mind is playing on me is cruel and I can't stop the tears.

Forgetting about my thirst, I remove my mask and placed it back on the night stand. I lay down face first into my pillow and scream, so no one can hear. Why did this happen to me? I wasn't lying when I told my brothers that I was glad that it was me and not them, yet I wish it wasn't me. I wish it was none of us. I wish I had my arm back.

I rised again to stare into the looking glass once more. My tear streaked freckles only adding to how pathetic I felt. The turtle looking back at me can not be me, it is impossible! I refuse to believe it. But it's true, so I did the only thing I could think of I screamed.

Instantly I regretted it as I heard voices calling out to one another, "What was that?" "Oh no MIkey!". Footsteps grew closer to more door as I swiftly wiped away the tears and silently leaped back into bed. I increased my breathing, so when they all barged in I sheepishly rubbed my head and said I had a nightmare about mutated squirrels chasing me through the sewers.

It worked.

They laughed for a while before Raph left to get me water and dr. Don started poking at my stump, saying that I must have been exhausted because I have been asleep for two days. Only waking up in a drugged inducted like state when I had to use the bathroom. They sat around and joked for a while acting like nothing had ever happened. In a way it pained me to see them acting as if everything was normal while I sat here suffering.

But they didn't have to know that. This is how I want them to be, happy. With that thought established, I knew what I had to do. Be happy. On the outside anyways, my brothers cannot become aware of my sorrows. They cannot see how I suffer while they laugh.

This is how I will deal with this new inconvenience of only having one arm. With laughter and smiles I will show them that I am okay. Funny thing is I actually believe myself. I am okay. So as I laugh along with the three of them can't stop myself from thinking maybe laughter is the best medicine.

"Hey Mikey, you alright? You've been staring into space for a while now." Leo abruptly cut into the conversation. Looking his way I could see all joy drain from his face; he looked exhausted.

I smiled at him, "Yeah yeah I'm peachy! I was just wondering actually when exactly these bandages were coming off for good. I was hoping to start training soon, to get used to it, I guess." I regretfully waved my stump for emphasis. That hurt.

They chuckled as they exchanged nervous glances towards one another, "It's probably going to be about three weeks before they come off. Your stitches should be ready to come out by then. As for training, well I would like for you to wait about a month. After that it's whenever you feel ready." Don explained thoughtfully.

"Oh, that's like forever though." I whined. "Can I at least get up?"

Again they laughed, "I would encourage it." Don answered.

"Yippie!" I cried as I leaped out of bed a tad bit off balance. Leo, Raph, and Don all reached to steady me in spite of the fact that I had already corrected myself. "Who's hungry? I know I am!" I announce as I skip my way to the kitchen, ignoring the throbbing coming from my arm.

"Don't over exert yourself Mikey. You are still healing." Leo reprimanded, following my closely.

Ignoring him I opened the fridge and reached for the thawed out pizza dough behind an empty milk carton. I could feel their watchful gazes weighing down on me as I put the dough onto the counter and used scissors cut open the packaging that I used to rip with my hands. After getting out the pizza pan I plopped the ball of dough onto it to begin my attempts at spreading it into crust. I could not toss it correctly with one hand, so I tried to kneed it out, but only succeeded at putting holes into the uncooked dough.

Growing frustrated I came up with an excuse to get someone else to do it, "Hey guys, I um really need to use the bathroom do you think one of you can take over?" I asked with my head down.

I could feel their gazes, I could sense their pity. "Yeah Mikey I'll take care of it." Leo said in such a tone that let me know he knew I just couldn't do it.

I mumbled a thank you before escaping to my room. I sank onto the floor, leaning against my bed and took deep breath to fight the sobs that were attempting to come out. I grabbed my mask off of my nightstand and slipped it on, "I'll never be able to be a ninja at this rate."

"Yes you will." I jumped a good foot off the ground, startled by Raph's voice.

"Gosh Raph, warn a turtle next time!" I scolded lightly as he settled down next to me.

"This isn't the bathroom ya know?" He attempted to joke. I stayed silent. "It's alright you know, to not be ok." I guess those were his comforting words of the day.

"I am ok, really. I just got frustrated that I kept putting holes in the dough." I lied.

He nodded his head, "I bet you got frustrated trying your mask before too." He looked at me, showing a look of understanding. "I'm the one who put in on your nightstand, I left it untied. Amazing really, that you could tie your mask while dreaming of mutant squirrels."

I looked at my feet in shame, staying silent as he continued speaking, "You've always been better able to adapt than the rest of us. Maybe that's why you can do stuff like that in your sleep while the rest of us have to open our eyes to get ready," He winked at me knowingly. "Come on." He said, standing up and offering his hand.

I spoke up, "I don't want to go back out there."

He shrugged and put his hand down for a minute, "Well I told Leo not to make the pizza. The way I see it, if you can tie your mask in your sleep you can make a pizza while you're awake, no matter how frustrating it gets." He stuck his hand out again.

I smiled as I took it and he pulled me up off the floor. Maybe Raph understands better than I thought.


	5. Raph

"You ready?" Donnie asked, carefully holding the edge of the gauze in his hands.

"Ready as I'll ever be D!" I replied giddily. Three weeks was up, today I get to get my stitches out and see the real damage.

"Alright, if you need me to stop don't hesitate to ask. Also it may be best if you didn't look until the stitches are out." Donnie advised.

I nodded as my brother began unwinding the wrappings that were binding me. It was only us two here, Raph and Leo went out on patrol, something about wanting to find Shredder and form a plan for revenge. They left even though I deemed revenge unnecessary; revenge can only lead to trouble, that's what Splinter always says.

I bounced my foot in anticipation, "Are you almost done doc, I got pizza to eat!"

Donnie chuckled, "I told you this will take a little while, forty-five minutes to be exact."

It bothered me how gently my brothers have been treating me, as if I'll break at the drop of a dime. They even speak to me as if their words are stones being thrown at me, always kind in hushed tones. I cleared my throat while I watched him working despite his advise to not look right now.

"So I was wondering if you could make something for me." I blurted out.

He froze for a second as if I had said something wrong, "What did you want me to make?"

"Well...it's uh really hard to play video games with one hand. So I was hoping that maybe you could come up with an idea for a controller that only needs one hand?" I winced at how much my request sounded like a question.

"Hmm, I could probably manage something, it may take a few weeks. It would also be hard to use, you would have to use your thumb to move the character around and the rest of the buttons would have to be on the back so you could use the rest of your fingers for other controls. There, ah it's healing nicely." He explained as a the cold air hit my stump for the first time, I shivered.

Also I began to understand why Donnie said to look away. It was rounded nicely, like a cartoon character without fingers, letting the world know that there was something there before. The black stitches were small, but there were a lot of them I think Donnie said eighty something. Around the stitches my skin glowed pink, which I thought to be odd considering I am green.

It just stopped. That is the only way to describe it. I could feel Don put a hand on my shell and rub circles on it. I bobbed my head up and down, fighting back the tears that fell anyways.

"Do you need to take a break?" Donnie questioned, his own eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Need to? No. Want to? Yes. I want to take a break from this, to pause time so I can go back. So I can stop myself from holding off Shredder while my brothers escaped, I could have found a better way to save them. If only I had been smarter than to think that I could get away with the simple use of a smoke bomb. I may not have been taken then

"No, no. You can keep going." I urged him on. "Just can we talk, it would help to talk through it."

"Anything you want Mikey. I wanted to talk to you anyways about something." What Don said spiked my interest.

"What about? Am I in trouble?" I tried to joke as the feeling of stitches being removed took over my body.

But Don would have noone of that, "Of course not! I wanted to keep it a surprise until it was ready. Until you're ready. It should be done in a week or so, but if your...if it still hurts you cannot use it yet." He stopped speaking to focus on his medical task.

"Use what?" I prompted, growing eager to know what it was.

"Do you know what a prosthetic is?" He asked as he removed the last couple of stitches and wiped down the area with rubbing alcohol.

I could feel my mind racing to keep up with his words. A prosthetic! So my life can be normal again, or at least somewhat normal. My tears ceased to exist thanks to that one small question. I nodded eagerly.

"Well I made you one. You're going to have to be careful with it though. It can't hold your full weight, meaning that if you are to do a handstand using the prosthetic instead of your real arm it will break and you'll fall on your head. You're all done by the way." My genius brother informed.

I leaped off the table and embraced him in a one armed hung before shouting out, "Yippee!" doing a lap around the lair and finally settling into my room to stare at my reflection and cry myself to sleep.

2 weeks later

Against Donnie's wishes I practiced flipping off my bed daily, more often than not I land face first, but I like to think I'm getting the hang of it. After sticking the landing for the twelfth time in a row, I made up my mind.

I woke early the next day and strapped my prosthetic on. It was pretty creepy looking, it was skinnier and shorter than my actual arm has ever been. It was impossible for me to bend it at the fingers or wrist without using my other hand to do so, however I could bend it at the elbow. They said its due to how much of my arm was actually left, I have no right to complain it's better than nothing.

I exercised my stealth a little as I snuck into the dojo to wait for training to start. This will be the first time I have joined since I lost my arm. Master Splinter was the first to enter, as always.

"Michelangelo, you are joining us today?" He did not seem surprised by my presence, but then again Splinter always seemed to know everything we do before we do it.

"Yeah, Donnie said I could start back up after a month of healing! So here I am ready to begin ninja-ing again." I smile happily at him while my brothers join me on the floor.

"Very well my son. Michelangelo has decided to join us today. For this occasion we will play a game much like tag. One will dodge the other three must hit him. If you hit him, he is out and whoever hit him must take his place. It is a one on one thing. If the dodger gets three chances to hit you, if he hits you first you are out. Understood?" Splinter explained.

"Hai Sensei." we replied in unison.

"Very well Donatello will be the first dodger…"Sensei announced.

As the game begun, I gripped my nunchuck tightly. Splinter indicated for us to begin, immediately I was ignored. Donnie kept his distance from me, but focused on the two eldest. It was insulting. Finally right as I ran out of breath from trying to catch him, Leo hit him. Donnie walked out to sit on the sidelines as a new match started. Leo mimicked Donnie in keeping away from me. I think he wanted Raph out so I wouldn't have to go against him alone. His wish was not granted though. In his attempts to avoid me he gave Raph an opening. Leo joined Donnie on the sidelines.

Raph turned to me with fire in his eyes and charged. I stumbled a first, afraid to flip around. I didn't want to mess up with everyone watching, I was determined to win and I wasn't getting anywhere stumbling around like a baby deer. Raph faked a blow to my chest only to jump over me to hit me from behind. He landed low and aimed a kick towards the back of my knees. My old training automatically kicked in without think I sprung into a backflip over his moving leg and avoided the hit. Sticking the landing, I informed him that he missed. He growled in response, swinging his sais towards my face. In return to bent backwards and fell into a roll. By the time I got back to my feet Raph was continuing his attack only faster. He was not going easy on my, infact he was fighting as if I were a footbot. My speed was the only thing saving me from his ongoing string of attacks.

For a short minute I thought I could win, I tasted victory and boy did I need it. However as I lifted my arm to hit him, I flipped to the right to dodge him before going in to strike and that was my mistake. I didn't put enough force behind the flip to land on my left arm, in the heat of the moment I had temporarily forget about the prosthetic. There was a loud snap that could have been mistaken for a bone breaking as the artificial arm crumbled under my weight and I landed head first on the dojo floor. Raph walk up to me to deliver the ending hit, raising his fist above his head.

Suddenly I was back in the Shredders clutches, awaiting the blow to my head that would end the pain I was feeling. I was terrified, death was breathing on me and then…

I brought back to reality by a hard kick to the shin, Raph had won. He stuck out a hand to help me up, but I slapped it away and got up on my own. I was so close to winning, to conquering my disability. I pulled of the broken creation that hung uselessly at my right side and walked to Donnie and handed it to him.

"Sorry about the arm, I got caught up in the fight." I turned to Master Splinter. "May I be excused?" I barely looked at him.

"Of course my son." He said kindly.

As I left I could hear Leo scolding Raph about being too hard on me. Part of me wanted to go inform him that going easy on me didn't help either, but I just carried on into the kitchen to get water. Which I promptly splashed all over myself thanks to someone sneaking up on me again.

"You're still hard to beat even with one arm." Raph pointed out.

"Seriously Raph, warn me before you start talking." I seethed.

"That prosthetic seems a bit useless to me, you didn't even use it." He said.

"There isn't much it can be used for." I reminded him.

"Eh, I think you'd be better without it. It's useless. It's gonna end up holding you back" He told before exiting the kitchen with his own glass of water.

Maybe he's right. If I hadn't had it on I probably wouldn't have made that mistake.


	6. Broken Words

I was left behind, again. My brothers have left patrol once again opting for me to sit out; I'd just be useless anyways. Since my screw up against Raph a few weeks ago I haven't been able to do anything right. Just this morning I lost my balance in training and should have lost the match to Donnie, until he 'lost focus' allowing me to win.

I can't take anymore of this. Every movement make somebody shadows me in case I need something. Every noise I make is answered with questions about pain even though the only pain I feel anymore is the phantom limb and personally I don't think that counts.

They say that they're proud of how well I am taking it. They praise me when I'm happy and buy me my own pizza when I attempt new things in training. Yet they never actually wake me up to train or invite me on patrol-which is understandable but still. Raph is the only one who takes our matches seriously, he never goes easy on me. He's the one that waves it off when I'm having issues doing tasks and only helps if I get overly frustrated and ask. Sometimes he doesn't help anyways, he'll let me struggle for hours before letting Leo step in.

Speaking of Leo, he is the most hypocritical turtle in all of the sewers. He's there to pat me on the shell and tell me I can do anything I put my mind to, yet he does everything for me. More than anything I just want him to understand what it's like to be 'disabled' without having to go through the trauma.

On the bright side of things though, Donnie made me my special control and he was right, it is complicated to use. Which is alright considering I have nothing better to do besides play-and fail- video games while they went out on patrol. At least they trust me to be here alone since Master Splinter has gone to April's farmhouse to collect some forgotten items from our last visit.

Thinking about it now, as I finish fighting off a dragon with an axe, I realise how alone I truly am. Just kidding! I do realise though that they should have been how almost an hour ago.

Ah crud what if they're in trouble! I can't go out there in my state! But if they need help, I need to go; i will never abandon them not after I lost so much trying to protect them. I flipped over the back of the rugged old couch, video game forgotten, and ran to my room to grab my gear. Strapping on my elbow and knee pads would take to long, so I really only grabbed my weapon. Before I could leave my tiny living space voices filled the lair, echoing of the sewer walls.

"Shhh, guys keep it down. We don't need Mikey seeing this." Leo's voice sounded strained.

"Why not? It's not like he hasn't seen worst." Raph argued.

"Because Raph, Mikey needs to focus on himself right now. Take him to my lab before the tourniquet does any damage…"Donnie replied with his know it all attitude.

"How about you take him to the lab and I'll go see where the kid is at." It was more of a demand than a question. "I'm no good in the lab anyways and Leo's bleeding out by the minute." Raph reminded.

Donnie must have complied because next thing I know…

"Where were you going?' Raph asked from my doorway. He look angry and worried, like I had broken his weights by dropping them on my head. Unintentionally I stared at him at a loss for words, just gaping at how concerned he seemed, but at the same time ready to fight. "DId you forget how to speak?"

I shook my head vigorously, "I-I just...it was getting late and you weren't home yet. I thought you were in trouble." I stuttered.

His anger faded into a more impressed appearance, "You were gonna come out after us?" He asked still sounding slightly angry.

"Well I didn't know what else I could do, with Splinter gone and I just-I don't know. I know I'm no use out there, but I couldn't sit here if you guys needed help…" I spat out so quickly I don't know if he kept up with it.

Suddenly I was brought into a bear hug. With Raph's arms wrapped tightly around my body, strange Raph isn't really the hugging type.

"We had it under control. We ran into some elite foot. Leo got hurt and slowed down our return." He explained still hugging me. "He'll be ok though, might be awhile before he's back in action though, he was stabbed in his thigh. Don says that there's probably some muscle damage and he'll need a cane for a while, but with some exercise he should be back to normal in no time".

Normal. My big brother pulled away from the hug and looked me dead in the eye with...pride maybe.

"Can I go see him?" I ask, subconsciously holding where the remainder of my right arm meets the new prosthetic.

"Don's working on him, so probably not right now. Why don't we sit down and have a talk?" He generously suggested. Why is he all of a sudden being so compassionate?

He sat down on my bed and patted the area next to him in gesture for me to join him. I did. "So what did ya wanna talk about bro?" I smiled at him, wishing to go see Leo.

Raph shrugged his shoulders, "Just wanted to know how things are going with you."

I froze. How are things going? I'm not even sure. Part of me is growing more used to having one arm, but most of me hates my life. He didn't have to know that. "I'm ok." is what I settled for.

"You're ok? That's it? Mikey we're concerned about you, you're doing well almost too well. I notice how you get frustrated a lot of the time, the way you try really hard, but back down at your first loss. You say you're ok, but your actions say otherwise. So let me ask again, how are you doing Mikey?" He pressed, staring me down. Making me break under his harsh gaze.

I sighed, "It totally sucks dude. I'm useless. I can't do anything right."

"Is that why you haven't asked to come on patrol, 'cause ya feel useless?" He questioned.

"Well yeah. I don't want to be a liability. Plus it's not like you guys would let me tag along, muchless join a battle. I mean i can hardly make a sandwich without taking ten minutes just to put cut off the crust. I fail everyday in training, Leo says I'm getting better, but he just goes easier and easier on me. I couldn't even go out to help you guys because I was too scared." I could feel tears forming in my eye.

"Not from what I saw. You thought we were in trouble, so you came to gather your stuff to come save the day. If you were scared you got an awful funny way of showin' it. Also Leo may go easy on you, but I don't. You were hard to catch with two arms and I think having one increase your determination, cause I can catch ya only after you fall and doubt yourself." What is Raph trying to do. "Having one arm isn't what's holding you back, so what is?"

With tears falling freely now, I spoke quietly, "This is gonna sound dumb, but I've always believed in a bigger picture. Like everything happens for reason, what could the reason for this possibly be besides to torture me? I would never take back what I did that day, but I can't help but wonder why me? What did I do to deserve this?" I scream, wagging my fake limb in front of myself.

Raph stayed quiet for a long time before grabbing my fake hand, it made me notice that I couldn't feel his touch, I cried harder, "I hate it! This dumb prosthetic, that impossible controller! I can't anymore. I tried to get over it, to be happy. But I can't, I give up."

"Mikey, Why do you wear this thing anyways? It only holds ya back." Raph mimicked what he had said a while back.

I wiped my eyes, "Makes me feel normal."

"Mikey, you have never been normal. You have always been extraordinary, when Don told us he had to chop off your arm we thought it was gonna be the end of your..well your spirit. We thought that it would be your breaking point. We took turns hating ourselves, blaming ourselves for what had happened, for needing you to save us when we're the big brothers. When you woke up, you immediately reassured all of us, it was then we realised we weren't to blame because it was your choice. You could have ran, you were so close to the exit, but you didn't even hesitate to jump into action when we were caught. We were hurt, we were slower than you; you came back and told us to run." Raph spoke of the event as if it were a movie.

"I will never leave you guys behind." I whispered sadly.

"Well that moment defined you, in my eyes anyways. You were the superhero you always wanted to be. But all heroes have their tragedies and this is yours. I believe that this happened to you for a reason. I don't know what that reason may be, but it's definitely redefining you. All your secret late night practices, all your frustration, all your sadness; it's your cocoon. You're growing into something even more extraordinary than before. Just wait and see." Raph swung his arm over my shoulders, looking intently into my eye.

"You really think so?" I asked as he moved to tie my elbow pad on for me.

"I know so. I've always been jealous of your ability to adapt to any situation with ease. This is no exception…"

Raph's tender moment was abruptly cut short by Donnie skidding to a halt in my doorway. I moved so swiftly he nearly tripped when you came to a stop. "We gotta go, now!" He practically shouted.

Raph and I jumped up, "What's wrong? Is it Leo?" I asked before Raph could form the words.

"No that blade they stuck Leo with imbedded a tracker into him. I got it out but I think it's too late. They're going to be here any moment! We need to move, Leo's in wheelchair in the kitchen. We go to leave immediately!" Donnie yelled.

"Alright, let's go!" Raph exclaimed.

"Wait!" I called after him. He looked at me confused. "Can you help me with my knee pads."

I can tell he suppressed a groan, "Only this once 'cause it's an emergency."

After that was squared away, we met our brothers in the kitchen. They waited anxiously by the fridge with their gear-even though Leo was in a wheelchair he still held his katanas.

"Come on we'll go out the other tunnel…"Leo began. "NO!"

Without warning I was lifted off my feet and thrown into the front of the fridge.

"Mikey!" My three brothers cried.

"You will be going nowhere turtles!" That voice. The creature that tortured me, so evil.

The Shredder has found our home.


	7. Accidental Demise

With a loud thud I fell to the floor, propping myself up on my hand and knees. Strong hands wrapped around my arm pulling me up to my feet before I had time to think, it was Donnie. Raph stood between us and the Shredder.

"Mikey get Leo out of here! We'll take care of this." Donnie ordered.

I have never felt as useless as I do now, "I can't push the wheelchair with one hand."

A fight began between Raph and Shredder as Raph desperately tried to keep Leo and me out of his grasp.

"We gotta run Don! We can't beat him with two of us down." Leo shouted, wheeling himself towards the tunnel.

Two of us down? That hurt. "Leo's right. Raph fall back!" Don shouted as he dragged me to the tunnel entrance.

A glance towards Raph told me he was losing. He was bleeding from his head from a nasty gash by his nose. Other cuts, not so serious ones, littered his arms and chest. He held his own, dodging most blows. He leaped forward over Shredder's shoulder and landed a kick from behind. Unfortunately our enemy was fast; he grabbed Raph's leg and with great force, threw him onto the ground, effectively knocking the wind out of him.

Don ran to aid our fallen brother. Bo staff at the ready, he charged at Shredder. "Get out of here guys! We'll catch up." He cried out before engaging in battle. "GO!"

I watched in horror as Don's weapon was ripped from his hands, but he continued to fight on. "Come on Mikey." Leo urged.

"We can't leave them!" I screamed, watching Don and Raph continuously get back up with more wounds than before.

"We aren't going to, we just need to figure out a plan. Come on!" Without waiting for me he began to make his way down the tunnel. I ran out after him.

"Oh no you don't!" I heard Raph howl. By the time the sound of knives piercing flesh filled the air, we were miles away.

We came to a halt at a large drain. Leo smirked at me, then the drain. "Dude this is your plan? How on earth are you going to manage that when you can't walk?" I was getting stressed out.

"Mikey, keep running. Go hide away somewhere, anywhere. You aren't ready for this fight. I'll find you when this is done." Leo begged. His normally calm voice shook as he spoke.

"No I won't leave you! Who will I watch Space Heroes with?" I joke, more seriously than I wanted to.

Leo smiled at the thought of his favorite cartoon, but shook his head, "It's too dangerous for you."

"It's too dangerous for all of us, Leo. Bro listen, I can still help. I'm still faster than any of you, faster than him. Let me…" I tried to reason.

"No! I will not lose you again! I won't sit here and allow you to sacrifice yourself again! You lost everything last time Shredder got a hold of you!" Leo teared up, but somehow managed to look stoick.

"I'm alive aren't I? I didn't lose everything. You guys are alive, sensei is alive, I am alive. And I'm not risking everything just 'cause you think I won't be able to hold my own. I'm not leaving and you can't make me." I fought back. I was aggravated, how could he think so little of my abilities just 'cause I am missing a limb?

Before our bickering could carry any further the sound of something heavy being dragged infiltrated our ears. "You're brothers were no match for me with two arms and you think you can help them with one?" Shredder taunted as he came into view.

Behind him he was hauling our brothers, letting the concrete scratch at them along the way. He tossed their bodies one by one at our feet. Thank the pizza god that they were breathing, in fact they were awake.

"Please Mikey, run." Leo tried once more. He raised himself from his wheelchair and took a fighting stance.

"No."

The fight began. I was quick, but my movements were jerky. Leo however was slow, as if he were in fact just a turtle. All it took was a well placed hit to his already severely wounded leg for him to be down and out. Shredder carelessly threw him to the side.

I breathed hard, I can't do this. Part of me wanted to run. Part of me wanted to hide. But none of me wanted to abandon my beaten brothers. So I ran directly at Shredder, nunchuck at the ready. I landed a blow to his upper arm and attempted to flip over him like Raph had done. However I botched my landing causing my balance to fail me. Shredder grabbed onto my prosthetic arm, "I looked forward to fighting you. You were so strong while I tortured you, refusing to give in. Pity you're actually a weakling!" He taunted as he swung me to the side with the intention that I fall into the drain.

I heard my bro's scream as they watched my fly into the drain, but I caught myself on the edge and was now dangling hopelessly above the rushing water. My left arm trembled with the strain of holding up my body weight, so I used my prosthetic as a leverage allowing me to throw my weight upwards and escape a watery dead. I landed the flip perfectly, however my prosthetic was ruined.

'It's only holdin ya back' Raph's words echoed in my mind. If I didn't have it on he never could have taken hold of it. As swiftly as I could I removed the ruined arm.

"I'm strong enough to beat you." I yelled charging him again. I went low this time, sweeping his legs out from underneath him. He threw a throwing star that embedded itself in my arm to keep me from harming him while he got up.

In the period of time it took me to pull the star out he was on me. A kick from behind landed me face down, I knew this was the end. My brothers were screaming at me to get up, to run. But Shredder placed foot on my shell and placed all his weight on me. This only lasted a minute before he lifted me up, punched me in the face, and tossed me into a wall.

"Leave him alone! Get outta here Mikey!" Leo cried trying to raise himself from the ground. But I was down for the count. I can't do this, I can't beat him and my brothers are too weak to run while I distract him

Another kick to the stomach, "Weak, but resilient. Watch as I destroy your brothers and then you." Gredder laughed evilly.

Through hazy vision I saw him make his way towards Leo.

"You aren't done yet! Get back up Mikey, you can do this!" through all of the comments for me to run, Raph called out words of encouragement. "Get up and fight! You're stronger than him, you can win!"

The Shredder raised his arm up blade at the ready, he was going to kill Leo.

Leo POV.

I stared death in the face, but all I could think about was Raph encouraging Mikey to fight. I realize how bad of a brother I have been always discouraging him, telling him he's not ready. Maybe we haven't been taking care of him after all.

"Ready to die Leonardo?" The Shredder taunted.

I squeezed my eyes shut, ready for the end, but it didn't come. Instead felt a slight breeze and I heard metal on metal. Opening my eyes revealed the Shredder with his arm stuck in midair, a chain wrapped tightly around his wrist.

"Keep away from my bro's Shred-head!" Mikey ordered, pulling back on the chain. There was an audible pop and a short cry of pain. Mikey had dislocated Shredders arm. "That should even the odds a little."

The battle raged on.

Raph POV

I couldn't believe it! Mikey had cause more damage to Shredder in one motion than any of us had done in an entire battle. Leo was not ripped to shreds and Mikey was back on his feet. I watched as the battle raged in front of me. Mikey was confident and cocky as ever, taunting the enemy a few times, but ultimately staying focused.

He danced around every threat made to him, only getting hit a few times. The old Mikey was back. Every flip he made had the perfect landing, every hit he inflicted was perfectly aimed. Leaping into the air, Mikey kicked Shredder square in the face knocking of his helmet. Mikey was winning.

Mikey POV

What do I do? What do I do? I need to get Shredder away from here. But He needs to stay gone. I can't kill him. But I can't leave him to harass my family. What do I do?

"Wow I shoulda left your helmet on, you're ugly." I taunted as he swung his blades towards me. I dodged to the side. The rapid waters were right behind me now, with little space to backup any further. My bro's were still calling out to me warning me to watch my footing.

"Disabled freak!" Shredder shouted readying his next attack.

The water was loud behind me, it was certain death to any who fall in. I'm not ready to die. Not like this.

"I am not disabled! I'm able as ever!" I responded, sweat dripping down my face. Or maybe that was blood.

Shredder lunged at me again, with nowhere to dodge I did the only thing I could think of. I jumped over Shredder, using his body as a springboard, and pushed him into the drain.

I landed on my knees, looking back I saw him trying to regain his balance. He was failing, he was going to fall in the drain and drown. 'You aren't a killer, save him.' a little voice in my head whispered. I tossed my Kusarigamajutsu like a lasso in Shredders direction, it unintentionally wrapped around his neck just as he began to fall. I pulled back.

The snap echoed off the walls of the sewers. Shredder fell back a few feet. Lifeless. I had killed the monster I was trying to save.

Immediately everything went quiet, but not like no noise quiet. Like white noise quiet. I couldn't see anything aside from the body.

"I killed him." I announced, picking his helmet up from the ground. "I didn't mean to." I felt empty, numb.

Feeling numb allowed me to get things together. I wheeled the wheelchair to Leo and helped him in it. He patted my shell and told me I did good. Raph used Leo's wheelchair to stable himself as we walked home and I held Donnie up.

"Thanks Mikey."

"You were amazing!"

"I told you you could do it!"

They built up the win, but I did not feel victorious.


	8. Extraordinary

Don's POV

We walked home in silence. Our pride in Mikey was great, he took down the Shredder for good. However as I glance at him he wears an expression of sorrow. The entire walk back he remains quiet despite our praise. None of us have ever killed before. I lean on Mikey so he can help me walk and it gives me a chance to see just how much he has actually changed.

Obviously his arm is the most prominent difference in my before and after comparison. His face was hard, all manner of his childlike nature was lost. His eyes no longer glimmered like the clear blue sea, his freckles stood out more due to his pale hue, and his large smile seemed to have been weighted down at the corners. I could see bruises starting to form along various parts of his body, but other than that he was unharmed. He appears to be deep in thought.

We reached the light at the end of the tunnel, as in we are home. Master Splinter sat in a meditative pose in front of the tv, opening his eyes as we trudged along into the lair.

"My sons! What has happened?" He jumped up, questioning us immediately.

We all remained silent unsure of what to say. Mikey's arms abruptly fell away from me, leaving me rooted to the spot in fear of falling if I attempted to move.

Mikey marched slowly up to Master Splinter, he bowed before our father revealing the Shredder's helmet. Bringing a hand to his mouth, Master Splinter gasped.

"My sons, you have defeated the Shredder?" He asked in shock.

"I killed him." Mikey replied, deciding now was a good time to examine the ground.

Sensei removed the helmet from Mikey's hands and set it aside. He embrace our youngest, "Michelangelo, I am proud of you. You have overcome not only a great adversary, you concurred your own doubt. Do you still feel disabled?" Pulling away from the hug uncovered Mikey's tear streaked face.

Mikey mused for a minute before shaking his head no and rose from his knees, "You aren't mad that I killed a man?"

"That was a monster not a man. He stole my wife and daughter from me many years ago. To know that he has perished brings me joy, joy that I am not proud of. Aside from that you protected your brothers, all while doubting yourself." Splinter lifted the helmet into his hands to inspect it.

Meanwhile Mikey cried harder, "I wasn't trying to kill him! I was trying to save him, but I screwed up!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I limped my way to my baby brother and wrapped him in my arms. "We understand Mikey. Maybe he just wasn't meant to be saved."

Mikey cried into my chest for what felt like days although it was only an hour or so. Master Splinter pulled me away from him after cleaning up Raph and Leo's wounds. It stung as he poured peroxide on my lacerations and stitched up the slash on my chest from where Shredder had impaled me.

When I walked back out from my lab Leo and Raph were sitting on the couch, tv on. Mikey remained where I had left him, but instead of being curled up in a ball he sat like a puppy staring intently at the cartoon dancing on the screen. I joined them in watching the lame Chris Bradford cereal advertisement that Mikey adores for one reason or another.

"Your turn Michelangelo." Splinter called from the lab doors.

Mikey glanced towards our father, but remained sitting, "Don't worry about me. I'm unhARMed." He rolled onto his back laughing, waving his stump in the air. "Get it unhARMed? 'Cause I only got one arm?"

Spontaneously we were all laughing harder than we have in a while. Surprisingly enough Splinter laughed to as he scanned over Mikey to make sure his joke was also true and he was in fact unharmed. Although Mikey's pun was very lame in my opinion it brought so much happiness into the moment. He continued to roll on the floor pausing only to hug each of us.

"sorry about the prosthetic again bro." he rubbed his head sheepishly.

I chuckled, "Don't sweat it. I can make another one." I replied smiling. His eyes were shining again.

He looked at Raph for a split second, "Yeah, I don't think I'll be needing one." He said, "After all it only holds me back." Raph grinned at him and he beamed back. "Thanks guys, for everything. For helping." He then faked a yawn and retired to his room.

I watched him walk away until all I could see was his shadow around the corner and finally I heard his door shut.

"Do you think he'll be ok?" I ask tentatively.

My family looks at me with an air of understanding, "He's Mikey. He'll be fine." Raph announced, "And even if he's not, we'll be here for him."

"That's right. But not like before I think we screwed that up a bit." Leo added.

Raph tossed Leo a dirty look, "We? You mean you two. Always babying the baby, going easy on him."

"Yeah Raph that's what I'm talking about. It's not like you didn't want to." Leo argued back.

"Of course I wanted to. Beating the kid every training, letting him struggle doing easy day to day tasks, it was hard, but you know what?" Raph egged on.

"What?" Leo and I asked in sync.

"I knew he could do it. Like Splinter said, he has always been the best at adapting. He just needed time to adapt to the new circumstances. And he did, I just figured that he'd need a large push." Raph explained thoughtfully.

It made perfect sense. Whether it's traveling to different dimensions, facing new enemies, or living at a farmhouse instead of in the sewers; Mikey adjusts the fastest. However losing an arm should obviously be harder to roll with. Yet he managed it within a month and a half

"Mikey's amazing." I commented after a period of silence.

"Amazing does him no justice." Leo answered back, frowning slightly.

"Extraordinary." Raph gave his two cents, "That's word you're lookin' for."

"Extraordinary." I breathed out.

Tv still on, one by one we left for bed. I was the last to go. I paused outside Mikey's room to peak inside, there he lay peacefully with a goofy smile on his face. Extraordinary.

I close the door without making a single sound, I think things are about to get a lot better.


End file.
